I read a great post on Amalah's blog about the things no one tells you or talks about. In it she talks about the feelings of isolation and frustration that come with being a mother. I wonder who let her inside my head?
I love Ian with all my heart, and he brings me great joy. However, he also brings me great frustration. As my husband was walking out the door today and Ian was screaming, I jokingly begged him to stay home and spend the day with us. He looked and me and said he'd rather shoot himself. While I know he was joking, I know there is a grain of truth in that statement, because staying home with a cranky baby is not all fun. There are times when it's great; when he smiles, and we play, and he laughs out loud when I blow a bubble of grapolicious gum in his face. Then there are the times when you're begging him to nap, he's crying for no apparent reason, and you're so exhausted you want to curl in a ball and sleep forever.
I would never trade these six months that I get to stay home with my son. I will miss him terribly when I go back to work, but I have to admit that this stay at home mom thing is a LOT harder then I thought it would be.